Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
