i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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