it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
