i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
