I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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