Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
