Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
And then he peed in my hair
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