guys are not supposed to queef...right?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
