Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
