Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
