dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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