wat bout pragnant strippers??
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
