After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
