I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
