Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
