just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
