I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(