You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize