hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
