is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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