I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize