Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
