walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Even my vagina gasped.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
