I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
