all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
