I'm eating all of the evidence.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
