my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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