I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
