In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
