He is an equal opportunity slut.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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