So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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