Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
