idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
