It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
