Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
