K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The air was thick with penises
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
