I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
