If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
