All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
