Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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