Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
