____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
