I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
