we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
