so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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