I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize