Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
