Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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