And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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