I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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