So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
