Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
