the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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