Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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