ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
