you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
