Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
