allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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