Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
