my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
please come you make the beer taste better
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
