I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
