just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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