Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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