bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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