If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize