Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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