Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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