Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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