I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
